I Don’t Think Too Much About Acting

Which of these mediums—acting, painting, writing—do you feel most ‘yourself’ in?

While I was with the NSD Repertory, I also created illustrations for India Today, Hans, and several other magazines, so people knew me as an illustrator too. But naturally, I feel most at ease while painting because that is purely my own world — just me, the colours, and the canvas. I paint for my own joy and expression, without any pressure or thought of exhibition.

Your portrayal of Vidhayak Ji in ‘Panchayat’ has become iconic for its restrained menace and humour. What was the hook that helped you find the soul of this character?

If you are soulful, that soulfulness becomes visible in every character. I don’t think too much about acting. Whatever comes from within me, I simply live that, and people see it as a character.

Having worked in acclaimed films like ‘Monsoon Wedding’, ‘Company’, and ‘Gulaal’, which role do you feel was the turning point, that truly tested your range?

I never look back or remember characters after living them. I move on completely. I’ve never gone around asking for work. Whatever work I got happened because someone saw one performance and offered me another. That has been my journey through nearly 60-65 films, beginning with Mira Nair selecting me for ‘Monsoon Wedding’ from among 250 people in Delhi.

How do you ensure that your characters remain grounded in reality without becoming caricatures?

I do not care who sees me as a caricature. To me, cinema is very superficial. But among filmmakers, Majid Majidi is one of my favourites. His films ‘Baran’ and ‘The Color of Paradise’ truly move me. When a film or any form of art brings you back to the heart, that is what I call real cinema.

What draws you to the complexities of villainy, and how do you find the humanity within villains?

The word ‘humanity’ is a very profound thing, and what truly matters is the search for sensitivity and humanity within ourselves. Osho was a great influence in my life, and I worked deeply on myself through his meditative and therapeutic processes. Society often labels people who speak the truth as dangerous or villainous. I feel the idea of a villain is much deeper than we usually think. Sometimes, in our own lives, we become our own villains by constantly trying to please people or achieve things.

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What does success look like to a man who finds equal joy in a finished canvas and a well-delivered monologue?

I do not think someone else can decide success for me. Success and failure exist within your own eyes. For me, the fact that we are alive and happy is the greatest success in the world. Real joy does not come from external things; it comes from simply being yourself. Even sitting under a tree, watching birds or flowers moving in the wind, can bring immense joy.

Do you feel that poetry can express things that acting or painting cannot?

My writings may be called poems, but to me they are sutras of life. I feel that where words end, real life and truth actually begin. These poems or sutras simply point towards the unknown, towards the mystery of where we come from and where we go.

How has the digital space changed the game for actors like yourself?

OTT platforms and entertainment do not really change anything for me. I see cinema largely as a business. But meaningful cinema is created out of joy and honesty. Even when 500 people watch the same film, each person is actually seeing a different film through their own experiences and emotions.

Are there any literary works or historical figures that you are yearning to bring to life on screen?

I am not eager for anything anymore. For me, cinema is meaningful in one way—it supports me financially in this worldly life. I cannot do a regular job, and cinema is simply a skill I happen to have that gives me financial support.

What can we expect from your upcoming projects, and will we see more of your poetry or art being integrated into your public life?

I live in the present moment and do not think much about the future. Right now, my second collection of poetry, ‘From the Known to the Unknown’, will be released. My biography, ‘Misfit’, is also coming out.

Through meditation and working on myself, I realised that the wealthiest person is the one who has the most time for himself

What one piece of advice would you give young artistes who feel they don’t fit into the traditional Bollywood mould?

Bollywood is not separate from the world. Acting happens everywhere—in every household and in every relationship. Perhaps that is why Shakespeare said the whole world is a stage, and we are all actors in it

Rapid Fire

The first thing you reach for in the morning — a paintbrush or a pen?

Neither. I live with myself.

Your favourite actor, poet, author?

My favourite poet is Pankaj Jha, and my favourite actor is also Pankaj Jha — who is not an actor.

A movie that changed your life perspective?

When I began to observe the film within my own self, I became the Seer; the one who observes both the spectacle and the spectator becomes the Seer.

The most beautiful place to you as an artist?

My own being.

An actor (past or present) you wish you could have shared a scene with?

Amitabh Bachchan

Street food in Patna or a fine-dining experience?

Sattu Paratha

Solitude in a forest or the energy of a theatre stage?

Neither forest nor stage — only ekant (solitude)

One word to describe Vidhayak Ji?

Positive

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